The only hands I desire.


There he is sitting across the room staring me down. I feel my insides burning because I know what I’ve done and any second now he is going to make me pay. I can feel my thighs sweating in anticipation of his touch. I know its going to hurt this time and my sick twisted soul can’t wait. I glance back over with a mischievous grin welcoming it, letting him know I am his. Before I can even calm my nerves he calls me over.
You are going to stand in front of me in silence and slowly take off every piece of clothing. Then you will kneel in your place.”
I do as I’m told looking him in the eyes the entire time. Remembering how much he loves this body of his and how I am to treasure it. I touch every curve along the way being sure to indulge in my skin. I present myself to him, bare and fearless. And there on my knees in front of him I feel confident. I feel whole and am taken away from reality. Everything around me disappears and my head begins to feel light. I have stepped in to our world and my god have I missed it.
He reaches out with his strong hands and rubs my check slowly.
Do you know what you’ve done?”
I shake my head silently in a remorseful nod.
“And are you prepared to pay for it like a good girl?”
I nod my head silently again.
You will remain silent and only do as you’re told. If you fight me I am going to hurt you more. Now comeover here and lay across my lap.”
I stand up and gently crawl over onto his lap with my naked behind perked up right into his reach. He lightly touches the surface of its curve reminding how much he wants this too. Taking his other hand he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rubber object. It’s smooth and round and big and my insides quiver. Wondering if I’m prepared to handle this. He places it in my mouth and like a good girl I start to suck. It’s cold and fills my mouth making my jaw ache.
“That’s enough. Now I am going to put this inside of you and you are going to remain silent. No moving.”
I nod patiently spit still dripping from my mouth. He drags the object down the curve of my back and stops at my ass slowly applying pressure he massages the object into my rectum. My legs begin to tense up in fear…. And then I slowly ease into the foreign feeling remembering how bad I want this. Finally he pushes it all the way in and I feel So Full. The pressure is overwhelming my body and I try not to move.
“Now I am going to spank you and you are going to count.”
The first hit comes down heavy and hard and the sensation is blissful. I whimper out the counts getting more comfortable with each palm full. After I scream out the sixth hit my thighs are soaked in cum and I cannot think or feel anything else but this moment. My red bare ass feeling the fire, filled with rubber. He pulls me up cradling me into his chest.
“You were a very good girl tonight. I’m very proud of you. Now let’s get you cleaned up and washed and maybe I’ll give you a reward. “
He picks me up and carries me towards the shower I am in the clouds coming back to earth. I nuzzle into his chest and get lost in his smell. I am his and there’s no other place I’d rather be.


Desperation meets life.

Where did you go? How could you leave? I reek of cum and I am undone without your guidance. I spent the afternoon repenting for my sins for disobeying your rules like the good girl I am. But I’m not sure that’s enough anymore.
I’ve given you my flesh and blood.

Oh I wish youd see inside we are the same.

I only open myself up to be broken down. And this time around I’m not taking second chances.
My sexual desires have become a ticking time bomb and if I don’t have him soon I may just explode.

I don’t know how to feel without a title. I need my subspace I need my release.
My therapy.
I can’t be vanilla.


I can’t be something I’m not.

Oh sir please reset me.
And let me be at your mercy again.

Where is Rubber Heaven and how do I get there?

For most of my life I spent my days hiding myself. The inner me who was too shy to ask for pain, to ask for the weird, the unknown and to most of my small inner circle….The unthinkable. Craving acceptance in my skin wanting so much more but never understanding what more could be. And then I met someone who I didn’t have to ask, I didn’t have to shy away from, I didn’t have to feel ashamed. He saw into my deep twisted core and gave me exactly what body always needed. The wonderful world of BDSM. I have never felt more vulnerable at anyones mercy, I am a beautiful mess under his control and he guides me to places I never thought possible. Through our experiences I have discovered the kind of life I wanted. The life of a Submissive.

I feel inclined to share my journey to show my commitment and honor to my Dominant. And to remind myself how far I’ve come and the places I dare to go. I daydream of being outside of myself in Rubber Heaven. No thoughts or words just existing for his pleasure while earning my own. I aim to become the perfect pet.

Tonight after our meeting I couldn’t stop thinking of him. I wanted him to hit me to shake me to MOVE me. I wanted to feel something. I watched his lips move and I remembered the things they’ve done. How they’ve made my body contort into knots of bliss. I wanted them on me.

When I arrived home I was given instructions to use some old toys we had left behind but after my sad discovery it turned out all I had to work with was some tubing and a pump. So I put on my latex gloves and I became his good girl. Getting carried away with the lubricant because it glides too perfectly on rubber and touching every inch of myself. Slapping and pinching as I go along knowing that I need to earn this pleasure. I connected the tubing to a small pump and slowly placed it inside myself. Not hesitating to FUCK myself with it and make my thighs tighten. While submerged I take the tubing and start to blow inside, filling myself fully. Then reach my sleek rubber gloves down to my clit where I rubbed myself gently until I broke into orgasm. It was exactly what I wanted. I felt like joy knowing he would appreciate my experience and maybe if I was lucky reward me for being a good girl.

Hopefully soon I can find out the rules and orders Sir has for me. Maybe he”ll even let me service him. For now I will live in my fantasies until he calls for his Rubber Pet again.